Saturday, October 3, 2009

Rainbows and Clouds

Payton is wise beyond his years, here's why......

I should be happy with my performance at Elite Track Nationals. I should be able to rationalize my performance as something positive considering I did do a personal best in the 200m TT and won the first omnium event. I should be happy we got bronze in the team pursuit despite a disastrous team effort. I should be happy that I more than held my own against the young pros. But, my mind can't stop being critical of all that went wrong. It's like a broken record playing horribly in my head. And so I was not happy. Worst, I was not present. But now thanks to my 5 yr. old son Payton, he brought the negativity to a screeching halt. His words liberated my mind and brought me back to the here and now. He gave me a gift. That's why it's called the present, right.

When I first got in yesterday, I was so happy to see my family. Joking around, I was showing my kids my hand with the torn finger nails and asked them if they think it's gross. My daughter said "Ewww, it's yucky," which it really is. It's really nasty actually. But then when I asked Payton, he said "I don't think it's gross." Surprised, I replied "Really, what do you mean?"

Payton said "When I look at your torn fingers, I don't see what you see. I see Rainbows and Clouds. Impressed, I said "Why do you think that?" He said "Because I want you to feel happy!"

His response choked me up and made me stop and think. I can't help but be so proud of him and also thankful for reminding me of what I know to be true.

Things happen, but nothing ultimately means anything. We make up our own meanings.
Our reality is a choice we make. As I like to say between stimulus and response is a choice. It's our ultimate freedom.

Thank you son for your wisdom.