THOUGH HE BE BUT LITTLE HE IS FIERCE

Hellyer War Cry

2010-09-27T18:30:00.001-07:00

Hellyer War Cry from Steve Pelaez on Vimeo.

Perspective

2010-07-02T22:23:00.000-07:00

While battling the stomach flu the other day, I was struck with two thoughts. First, thank God, the cleaners were just here yesterday and left me with a fresh clean bowl to say my prayers to the porcelain gods. Second, this really sucks! Every bathroom run was an emergency session. The dry heaving, the sharp pains, the cramps, the runs, all left me begging and praying for life to end. But then I told myself - "Nope, don't run away from it (it's actually best to just stay near the toilet=). Seriously, I told myself to remember how miserable I was. Remember this! Because tomorrow when this stomach flu has passed, will be the happiest day in a very long while. Suffering gives you a great perspective.

Happiness is all relative right? All I know is that the day after the stomach flu felt like Christmas morning. I was so happy to be back with the living. I was ready and willing to do my fatherly duties, deal with the remodel, pick up slack at work, and just happy to be.

My life is a blessing that I at times I take for granted rather than appreciate. Life is great and I sometimes don't know it. But then I'm brought to my hands and knees by my kids' stomach flu, which btw, I thought I dodged like the matrix. Then all at once, I am reminded that I have a lot to be thankful for, least of which is the toilet paper and running water we seem to just take for granted. Try getting sick in India - squat toilets and hand washing. Yeah, that'll give you perspective.

As my buddy Ray said to me let's just take a trip to India to remind you how good we have it here. Yeah, I admit, we're spoiled here. Life is too good here in the great US of A and we don't fully appreciate it all the time.

But for the moment, as I'm writing this without the urgency of running to the toilet, I'm happy and thankful for the perspective. But I hope the next reminder won't be this dramatic. But if it is, I won't run away from it. I'll accept the misery and listen to the lesson she has to teach.

Crit Racing is our version of the Hurt Locker

2010-04-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

You gotta love crit racing. It's a bit harrowing as it's happening. When you watch the video, you can hear the nervousness in people's voices/profanity and also sense the tension build as the finish line approaches. As a crit rider, you relish these moments. When you're in the zone, everything is in slow motion. You can see the gaps opening, your breathing is heavy but not labored, and you're cool under pressure. Then when you cross the line, hopefully in one piece, everything suddenly starts to speed up again. You get this rush and you have to yell to release that tension. It's a sigh of relief that you survived. Personally, I prefer to pound my chest like king kong. It's so much fun that I usually sign up for a 2nd race and take the risk again. Unfortunately, this weekend, the 2nd race didn't turn out so well. I crashed and had a flat. Despite whiplash and road rash, I can't wait to line up again next week.

PS. I thought I had the accident videod but my camera battery ran out. I was hoping to see who plowed into me.

Wente Criterium 4.25.10 from Steve Pelaez on Vimeo.

Back on the Saddle, Again

2010-04-19T08:23:00.000-07:00

Easter came 2 weeks late for me, but now I'm certainly feeling alive again after 2 rounds of antibiotics and lots of rest. Interestingly, you know you're feeling normal simply b/c you enjoy riding the bike again. And you enjoy it most, when you're making yourself hurt. The enthusiam to suffer is back. Time to race again.

A Hellyer tradition in the making...

2010-03-30T09:57:00.000-07:00

After being sick for over 2 weeks and not having ridden a track bike for over 6 months, I really didn't have any business being on the track for the 1st Get Ready for Summer race of 2010. But since it was a beautiful sunny day, Payton convinced me to go down to the race. It's quite comical, really, that my 5yr. old urged me to race. But I suppose, he was incented by alterior motives. You see, it's a tradition of ours to get a burritto lunch with Horchata (cinammon sugar rice milk) and cap it off with Mango ice cream. Of course, he wanted to go down to the track. He also gets to play around in the heat which is foreign to us San Franciscans. Plus I feel like he's buddies with many of the riders now too, who give him Clif Bar treats, etc. It really is a great time at Hellyer in Spring. It's a fun time to catch up with friends I haven't seen since last year. But most of all, it's quite precious to me to now have this father and son tradition.

Here's a video of the racing, filmed from my Nano mounted on the handlebar.

All at Once

2009-11-24T20:23:00.000-08:00

The things that matter most in our lives are not materialistic or grand. They are moments when we are IN the moment, when we are present in the most attentive or caring way.

Sex on Wheels

2009-11-08T08:11:00.000-08:00

5hrs of some incredible riding on the Coast today. It's November and it's sunny and warm. Incredible - hence the song of choice by the Thrill Kill Cult.

Offseason

2009-11-06T07:21:00.000-08:00

It's been a long season of training, racing, traveling, etc. Now it's time to ride purely for fun and simply enjoy being on my new crossbike in the headlands.

Rainbows and Clouds

2009-10-03T19:30:00.000-07:00

Payton is wise beyond his years, here's why......

I should be happy with my performance at Elite Track Nationals. I should be able to rationalize my performance as something positive considering I did do a personal best in the 200m TT and won the first omnium event. I should be happy we got bronze in the team pursuit despite a disastrous team effort. I should be happy that I more than held my own against the young pros. But, my mind can't stop being critical of all that went wrong. It's like a broken record playing horribly in my head. And so I was not happy. Worst, I was not present. But now thanks to my 5 yr. old son Payton, he brought the negativity to a screeching halt. His words liberated my mind and brought me back to the here and now. He gave me a gift. That's why it's called the present, right.

When I first got in yesterday, I was so happy to see my family. Joking around, I was showing my kids my hand with the torn finger nails and asked them if they think it's gross. My daughter said "Ewww, it's yucky," which it really is. It's really nasty actually. But then when I asked Payton, he said "I don't think it's gross." Surprised, I replied "Really, what do you mean?"

Payton said "When I look at your torn fingers, I don't see what you see. I see Rainbows and Clouds. Impressed, I said "Why do you think that?" He said "Because I want you to feel happy!"

His response choked me up and made me stop and think. I can't help but be so proud of him and also thankful for reminding me of what I know to be true.

Things happen, but nothing ultimately means anything. We make up our own meanings.
Our reality is a choice we make. As I like to say between stimulus and response is a choice. It's our ultimate freedom.

Thank you son for your wisdom.

AVC Keirin Finals 2009

2009-07-29T06:14:00.000-07:00

It definitely wasn't ideal spending 2 days in Disneyland before the big AVC track meet. But, I'm a father before anything else, so I enjoyed running around with Payton and Aria. We had a blast. Btw, I tried renting a motorized scooter reserve for disabled people so I wouldn't walk around too much, but the kids refused to have me do that. "Not right!" says Payton. Oh well.

But I knew I would feel much better after having rocktape applied all over my lower back, legs, and even face (big stach). Honestly, the pain in my lower back dissappeared and my legs felt supple again . Plus, I had my new speed weapon - fast forward wheelset (disk + 5 spoke). These wheels are the best wheels I've ridden. All things considered, I'm pretty happy with the performance especially against such a world class field.

AVC Men's Keirin from Greg van den Dries on Vimeo.

There are No Ordinary Moments

2009-05-21T17:30:00.000-07:00

"Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow is but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day." -- Proverb

I watch this video to remind me how quickly time flies and why I need to be more aware and present in the moments that I spend with my children. They were babies here. Every moment is precious.

The things that matter most in our lives are not materialistic or grand. They are moments when we are IN the moment, when we are present in the most attentive or caring way. I can recall the most vivid details of the moment when Jenna said Yes in Maui, when she took my breath away walking down the aisle, when I gave my best man speeches at my brothers' weddings, when my Paypay and my Princess were born, when I first held them and made a promise to always be there no matter what, when I took Grandma to Italy while she was battling cancer.

When we bring full attention to our acts, the quality of the moment grows in us. It permeates more deeply in our hearts and minds. Oh how I wish I could live in these Zen moments, always. Often, I ask myself how do I make myself more aware, more peaceful, happier? How do I get in the Zone? It's a daily challenge I'm enjoying.

I suspect that many of us like sports because in them we get a glimpse of that Zen fullness, when we are in the moment and all our worries and problems are shed from our presence. The most beautiful moment in sport is arguably the 1998 Game 6 Finals between the Chicago Bulls and Utah Jazz. The last minute of that game was incredibly exciting. I was so nervous, I ate a bucket of wings and drank a forty during commercial break before the final possession. What I recall most about the game is Jordan's description of the last critical possession of the game, down by 1 pt with 16 seconds left in the game. He said that "he was in the moment, and everything seemed to move in slow motion." There was no panic in him, he wasn't thinking of the outcome, he was simply in the game, and letting the game flow to him. Then he nailed the sweetest jay from the top of the key, and held his shooting form long enough for us to always remember the greatest player ever to lace his Nike's.

Similarly, the moments I enjoy most in cycling, are the same in the zone moments. Whether it's climbing Mt. Tam above the fog bank, or descending Panoramic to the Pacific Coast, my mind is not wandering or distracted. I am engaged and enjoying every moment and focused on the danger and challenge of each bend. And in the races where I've performed well, I have this heightened sense of awareness and find myself really calm. In these moments, I feel that the race is also in slow motion. I can feel my heart pounding, but my breathing is relaxed and I can sense the explosion building in my legs. It's exhilarating. And as I've gotten older and hopefully wiser, I seem to enjoy every bike ride more eagerly. Every workout these days is enjoyable even though they are repetitive and routine.

In the stress and complexity of our daily lives, we may forget our deepest intentions. But when someone we know recently dies (Ray's nephew, Robbie's son, or Steve Larsen) we remind ourselves that we should 'Live Now.' And living now means to be PRESENT and AWARE of the moment now whatever you may be doing such as reading this blog, eating a snack, breathing. The quality of each moment depends not on what we get from it, but on what we bring to it. Let's bring more of ourselves to each moment everyday. Then we can say we are living now.

Life is a series of moments. In each, you are either awake or you are asleep -- fully alive or relatively dead. Let's not treat any moment as ordinary no matter how mundane or routine it appears. "The Greeks didn't write obituaries they only asked one question after a man died -- did he have passion?" Let's be passionate simply by being completely present and aware today. All we have is Now. "Give us this day, our daily bread....."

Rest in Peace: Ray's nephew, Robbie's son, and Steve Larsen. You will be missed dearly!

Hate it or Love it

2008-09-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

"Nothing great can be achieved without Enthusiasm"

It's been a very very very long year on and off the bike. And it's understandable, almost expected that right now, I hate my bike. I knew this fact long before writing this blog. But I've been trying to avoid this truth, so I can stay focused for track natz next week. Honestly, what's the point of hanging on to some fitness, if I don't like the bike? What do you do?

If you don't like your bike now, do what most cyclist would do - get a new one! I did and it's a sleek carbon Planet X speed machine. They gave me a nice sponsorship deal and I'm ready to love my bike again. Will take some pictures and will post shortly! It's amazing what a new toy can do to your state of my mind.

But what's really helping me get over the burnout factor is simply riding around Golden Gate park trails with my 4 year old son, Payton.

3 weeks ago, I took off the training wheels and pushed him off and just like that he was riding his bike. And the fear of the unknown/crashing, turned into a smile for the ages. It was ear to ear and pure joy. And as I watched him gleefully spin round and round (you should see his leg speed), I was reminded why I love this sport so much. In the end we love our bikes simply b/c it is so much fun. It's not about the wins as much as each pedal stroke brings a smile to your face. It's sometimes easy to forget this with a razor like focus on peak performance. But when I'm riding around with Payton, I'm reminded that it's all about play and fun, even when my heart rate is thumping at 190bpms.
Sent via BlackBerry

Changing gears - thinking differently

2008-09-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

"When the little guy doesn't know he's the little guy, he can do great things."

I was riding up Mt. Tam yesterday, when another cyclist blew past me. I shifted up some gears, accelerated up to his rear wheel and kept pace with him for the next 10 minutes. Then, it started to hurt. When I looked down at my HR monitor and powermeter, the numbers were NOT good 175+ bpm/380+ watts. Then I started thinking, I can't hold this pace for the next 20+ minutes uphill. But right before I was about to pop, I remembered what my Belarusian coach, Vlad, said to me in his heavily accented voice, "Steve, you think all WRONG, what happened?" You say you can NOT when you must say I can."

He's right, something happened to me after getting my ass kicked in during the world cups. I began focusing on my limitations, rather than my strengths. It's like I put on bright neon lights on these limitations and it flashed in the forefront of my mind. And when the racing/riding got hard, I've been backing off b/c I was too aware of my limitations and honestly, I was afraid.

During my first world cup at Sydney, I recall meeting up with all the big guns and was so excited for the first race. I couldn't wait to announce my arrival at this top level. I had no history, no past to base this high expectations. I only had my imagination, and I guess I was a bit creative. When the racing actually started, I didn't perform as well as I imagined I would. The point is that, after I was brought back down to reality, I seemed to dwell on it too much. As Osho said "We die to the past everyday. But it's the past, let it be." Beat it and bounce, right. But somehow, the past sticks to me longer, and as said above, I hold on to it closely.

So, back to the ride up Tam. Right when i was about to pop, I shifted up some gears, accelerated and rode in front, and picked up the pace. I was dying but I wanted to see if the other rider will blowup first. When I looked back, he was way behind me. He blew up. I looked at my HR - 185bpm/400watts. Technically, I should have blown up too, but this time I refused to have the performances of the past dictate how I'm going to perform at the moment and going forward. I rode up Tam with a new pb time - 3 mins. faster than I have ever done.

So much of training is physically focused. But, the body can handle just about anything, it's the mind that really needs the training. As athletes we just need to be more conscious of how we register the memories of successes, failures, and challenges. Specifically, the successes need to burn brighter than all. These memories makes us better, and no doubt, much happier.

4th of July Weekend Hi's and Low's

2008-07-06T23:34:00.000-07:00

Let's start with the Low's:
It's a Porta Potty Nightmare. I took a piss in the porta potty and washed my hands using the foot pump to dispense the water. To my horror, the water that came out of the dispenser, was NOT water. It was the piss and shit water from the packed high porta potty. I freakin screamed like I got shot. A cop comes over and checks on me and I just unloaded on him. Smell this? And I lifted my hands up to him and he just about threw up. Then he rushed me to the ferry restroom, where I washed my hands under scalding hot water for an hour, and it was not enough. When I told Jenna, she screamed "Aaaahhhhh, and jumped out of her seat. The same way you all did when you saw the movie, The Crying Game. Nasty!

I also crashed at Davis on the 4th, banged up my knee, but finished the race.

Hi's:
AJ won the Elite District Criterium Championships in style. He pinned his head to the stem and rode solo away from the stacked breakaway. It's the biggest prize for our team and the sickest win of the year. It was a brutal race, 100+ starters and only 20+ of us finished. It was a mental suffer fest with the challenging course and the scorching heat. I had a lot of converations with myself in order to keep digging myself out the pain. In the end, my mind won over my body this time. It was a personal success.

And the swelling on my knee stopped thanks to resting a 6pack of ice cold Amstel Light on the bruise. And chugging the 6 pack, killed the pain.

It was a great weekend all in all. And hopefully, I'll get my leg speed back soon.
Sent via BlackBerry

American Velodrome Challenge - Keirin Finals Video

2008-06-26T13:49:00.001-07:00

Don't you just love surprises? Making the finals and placing 3rd was a big surprise - an enjoyable one at that. I think I may do more of this Keirin stuff.

My Other Church - Hellyer

2008-06-26T00:24:00.000-07:00

I go to my church St. James on Sunday's. But not often enough as I should. I enjoy going to church for many reasons. First, it's the peace and comfort that I get from sitting at Church and listening to the sermon. Then, it's the community of like minded spiritual people. And connecting with them during coffee hour. And also the free childcare service is a nice touch. We drop off our kids and get a chance to be alone, relax and reflect on many things.

Hellyer is similar in many ways. First of, I don't go as frequently as I'd like to. It's just a long drive from SF especially if there is no one to share the ride down in the carpool lane. But when I do get to the track, I'm usually glad I did. I get to hang with my peeps, chill between each hard effort, and find that pain zone during the ride. Every church has a preacher and at Hellyer, it has to be Ruggy. There's no one better than Ruggy at giving advise. It's the way he does it and the way he delivers it. It's a standup comedy act and lecture all packed into one. I enjoy listening to Ruggy for many reasons....he's usually right, and his one liners crack me up "Spin to win....Fly like an eagle...Bet that gear is talking back to you now." And there's always a proud story bout his wonder kid, Daniel "Dholla." Interestingly, everyone at the track, for the most part, are all glad to help each other out. It's a great community, where riders compete and connect altogether. It's unlike any other bike event. It's a great feeling going to the track, and that's why I consider it my other Church. But, it still is a house of pain, full of moments that test my resolve. This is great b/c I think racing is really a mental exercise to have steady command of my thoughts. Sometimes I win and sometimes I just hang in. But most of the time, I have a blast. We should all be so lucky to have a track community like Hellyer. AMEN!

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Beers and Dim Sum and Willpower

2008-05-08T00:04:00.000-07:00

While walking home from preschool, Payton asked if we could stop to get some dim sum. Reluctantly, I said no. He says "how come?" I say "cause daddy needs to slim down and get back in shape again." I thought of just stopping and picking up a few orders of shrimp dumpling, pork shu mai, sesame balls, steamed bbq. pork bun. (just writing this entry makes me hungry). But I realize that if I did buy it for Payton then it would be hard to pass it up. Actually, I know I wouldn't be able to say no. So it's best to avoid it altogether.

According to a NY times article, "the brain has a limited capacity for self-regulation, so exerting willpower in one area often leads to backsliding in others." In other words, I shouldn't use up my limited will power by resisting food and drink temptations like dim sum, and Belgian ales while I get my self back into shape. Because, right now, I need all my will power just to get up at 6AM to ride some intervals in the cold foggy San Francisco morning. But, the nice thing is that when my wife, (not me), brings home a bag of Trade Joes chocolate covered pretzels, I just don't fight the urge anymore. I simply devour the whole bag knowing that tom. I at least will have the willpower to get up early and ride again.

This article brings up an interesting point on the impact of a stressful day at work and how it sometimes can lead to our inability to suffer altogether. This neurological reasoning, explains why good coaches make sure that you are mentally fresh before a key competition because you will need the willpower to suffer. A year ago I was asking Larry Nolan what he recommends as a good tapering schedule. He responded in terms of asking about my mental state. After reading this article, his response makes absolute sense.

SF Entrepreneur Challenge

2008-04-29T21:55:00.000-07:00

The SF Entrepreneur Challenge is a contests in another aspect of my life that I want to win. Getting voted to the finals will be my success metric. In order to win, I will need your support by voting me into the finals where I will get to present my business to the SF entrepreneur community and a great panel of judges who might be able to open some new opportunities.

Checkout my profile and help vote for me - http://community.sfentrepreneur.com/member/steve_pelaez

Thank you for your help!

April - Hi*Baller of the Month (Headwind Award)

2008-04-25T01:07:00.001-07:00

In 2007, both my son, Payton and I raced Burlingame. He did the kids ride, came in last, but in style. He took his jolly time and soaked up all the cheers on the straightaway to the finishline. The photo above is from the Ryan's Ride Ad for 2008. It was a surprise to see his photo with the caption about the ice cream. It's actually appropriate. No kid enjoyed his ice cream more than Payton that day. He's a true Hi*Baller.

The Hi*Ballers for the Month of April are Shawn Hatfield and Jenny Oh. Shawn got a PR on his 200m tt (11.75 sec.). I think the coolest part about his PR was that he actually really enjoyed it. I know cuz I shared some beers with him that night and he said he wasn't thinking about tom. or a future goal. What mattered was that on this particular day, he hit his PR. He was living in the moment, a rare and special feeling. That's a great attitude. Jenny wins the women's award b/c she's a bad ass. She's always at the races and working towards finding improvements measured against her own standards rather than who she beats to the line. Ballers for sure! As part of the award I will be giving them each a $50 gift certificate, a cool Baller shirt, and a case of Hi*Ball energy drink.

Btw, instead of making the award a weekly contest, I think it's best to have a Hi*Baller of the Month. Who'll it be for May - I'm voting for Elliot Logan.

Winning

2008-04-20T22:23:00.000-07:00

I was in a sales interview the other day and the VP of Sales asked me what is one of my weakness. This is one of those unnerving questions cause no one usually likes to talk about one's weakness. But I've learned that awareness of your shortcomings is definitely what helps you grow. My answer was simple. I think my weakness is that I want to Win everything I put my mind into - seriously.

Why is this a negative, right? In sales, it sometimes leads to win loss situations where the deal is no longer proftiable. In real estate, you end up paying too much for a property. Like today, Jenna and I were shopping for another investment property in SF. I was pretty luke warm on a property that my wife really likes. Then when I went back to see the property the 2nd time around, I saw all the potential that Jenna saw in the property. When this happened, a trip wire went off in my head, and I made up my mind that I wanted to Win this house. In SF, buying a house is cut throat competition and you have to overbid significantly to win a deal. When I overheard one other couple saying that they really like the house, I got all fired up. It just added fuel to my desire to win the house. I thought of telling them, "Sorry, you're going to lose, and I'm winning this house, whatever the price." Obviously, it's not advisable to invest this way. You need to find your walk away position. Otherwise, you'll lose your shirt.

In cycling this Winning attitude can easily become a negative for a number of reasons. First of, it's impossible to win all the races. In fact winning is a very difficult thing in cycling and wins are usually distributed to a select few. Moreover, I think there are times to burn the matches and when not to. I only have a limited number of bullets and when I use one up for a training race, then that's a wasted bullet. I did this before the LA world cup and dug a little too much at an early bird crit, where I tried to close a 30 sec. gap to a strong break of 8. I almost caught the break, but I dug myself a hole and was flat in LA. Finally, winning as an absolute thing like who crossed the line first, is the wrong way to look at bike racing. I've learned that it will leave you feeling empty and demoralized since as discussed above, the winning moments are few and far between. Better than absolute is to define your win. I was talking to Roman about this. As a pro for Healthnet, he defines his win in terms of how well he is progressing towards being a great team domestique and personally, if he's continuing to improve as viewed objectively by his coach and training data. How you define your wins can help you enjoy racing better.

This reframing and redefinition of what it means to win is a lesson I have to continually remind myself when I get on a bike. Believe me, everytime I get on a track bike I want to kick everyone's butt - right Warren? My chilled out demeanor belies an internal rage. I hate losing even if it's a training race and I'm grossly out of shape. I don't care about the excuses. So it's especially hard for me. But then, I'm reminded of my friend, Craig's story. Craig finished the Wildflower triathalon long course close to the bottom of his age group. On paper, he was 2+ hours down on the guy who crossed the line first. But to his friends and family, who knew that 5 months before Wildflower, he had undergone chemotherapy and radiation to batttle an aggresive lymphoma cancer, Craig was the Winner. But, if you only measure winning in absolute terms, then the guy who crossed the line first, won. However, if you defined winning as living and courage against the face of death, then my buddy Craig is a Winner.

In terms of the Headwind Award, look for each riders' silent evidence - the non obvious, the next time you want to observe a winner. Everyone has a story and I encourage you find it and share it to the track community.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

No Country for Old Men

2008-04-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

Actually, the Hellyer track IS a country for Old Men =). I think we have more successful masters racing compared to any other category. But that's not my point in talking about No Country For Old Men, a movie by the Coen Brothers based on the book by Cormac McCarthy.

When I first read the book, I'll be honest, I wasn't really a fan of it. There were unresolved conflicts, jumps in points of view, irregular punctuations. In short, it didn't make a lot sense to me. 6 months later, after reading books on risk, randomness, chaos theory (nonlinear), I finally understand what Cormac was saying in his book. The book is brilliantly original because it is written to reflects the unstructured randomness of life. Sh*t happens, and sometimes there's no rhyme or reason for it. It's hard for many of us to comprehend this since we're rational thinkers. We need an explanation even if there isn't one.

In cycling, when things don't go our way in a race, we second guess a lot of things we did to try to make sense of what happened. What went wrong in our training, what did we drink/eat, or not etc? We want a reason for the cause -a narrative fallacy. But life is not that simple or always controllable for that matter . Things happen and you just have to say brush it off. Beat it and bounce! Seriously, there's no sense second guessing yourself .
There's a lot of unstructured randomness in life and cycling, too.

I had a great conversation with Roman during our drive down to the track on Wednesday night. I brought up the idea of randomness and nonlinear progression to him. He's a really smart dude. And I have a lot of respect for what he's achieved, on and off the bike. He got his law degree from Hastings while he was racing as a pro for the top domestic cycling team, Healthnet. He was telling me a story about how he placed in the top 10 at the Sea Otter Road Race while riding for a small DIII pro team McGuire. At the time, Sea Otter was an NRC race and attracted a lot of the best pros. His ride was a break through result and caught the attention of some bigger pro teams. He re-calls thinking how he was flying. But then the following week at a much easier race with less competition, he got dropped at the Wente Road Race. He didn't even finish the race and drove home, bewildered. WTF? It didn't make sense why he had such a bad performance a week after a break through result. But then the following week, with no expectation at all, he won a difficult stage race back east.

When things don't go your way, just remember that progress is nonlinear. There's a lot of chaos and randomness that we can't account for or make sense of. But regardless, keep trying and it all works out in the end. Good luck racing this weekend!

HiBaller of the Week - April 7-14

2008-04-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

Please submit your vote on the comments section and give your reason (if you want)! Anyone who is not a Cat 1 or District/National Champ is eligible for the award.

The weekly award is a 4 pack of HiBall + something else. Weekly votes count towards the overall prize of:

$250 cash minimum
$500 worth of HiBall products
$Swag

The Mind of a Tiger - Great interview

2008-04-08T18:22:00.000-07:00

When you hear him talk you can understand why he's the best. There's something in the way he thinks that sets him apart. I can't wait to watch the Masters and Paris Rubaix this Sunday. It's the best Sunday in sports!

Headwind Award presented by Hi*Ball

2008-04-06T16:18:00.001-07:00

I read once that you should never dream like a bank manager, who assesses your worth based only on your REALIZED potential. The greater part of all of us is our UNREALIZED potential. Therefore, this award is for the male and female Hellyer Trackies who are trying to make the leap and breakthrough the winner's podium, but haven't yet done so. I personally want to encourage these riders to persist as they strive to achieve their goals. As I've finally realized, progress is nonlinear. A lot of times it seems there is nothing but a headwind, but keep trying, and never give up. Inevitably, you'll catch your tailwind. In the meantime, have a Hi*Ball-- it's good energy (way better than red bull).

Overall Prize:

Cash award (minimum of $250 - max - tbd)
Headwind Winner Jersey
Cases of Hi*Ball Energy Drink ($500 value, enough drinks for a kick a@@ party)
Schwag - Tires, Shirts, Caps, etc.

How it works:
There will be 1 Male and 1 Female winner for the season long contest. The season will run from April to August. The winners will be voted in by your Hellyer peers on a weekly basis. The overall winner will be the top male and female trackise who receive the most votes over the entire season. But, the weekly winners will be rewarded with a nice cold Hi*Ball 4 pack + other goodies.

Qualifications:
This award is only for those who have not YET made the leap. Cat 1's, district, or national champions are NOT eligible. Let's give others a chance to win.

Voting:
I hope everyone from Hellyer participates in this contest. I'll setup a weekly voting link on my blog every Thursday morning. Post your votes in the comments section by Sunday before the next weekly series race. I will keep track of all votes and will announce the weekly winners every Monday night on my blog and the Hellyer/NCVA google groups.

One last word:
This Award is for every person who keeps spinning his or her wheels against a headwind but is still dreaming of one day making the leap-- no matter what level. Winning is not simply about who crosses the finish line first. The victory line can be anything and for this award, it's for those who persist.

The Regular Guy and Nonlinear Progress

2008-03-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

I'm just a regular guy. A regular highly competitive emotionally driven guy. And as I'm writing this blog, I am finally realizing that our extraordinary dreams progress nonlinearly (meaning the road to the top is not a straight line.) This is a big challenge for us regular guys. Do you have the mental stamina to make it through nonlinearities (ups and downs)? How do you stay focused and committed to the impossible goals? Most people give up before the rewards. But why?

We struggle with nonlinearities because our brains prefer to think in linear terms. For instance, if you train everyday, then you expect to get faster in proportion to the number of hours you put in. "But reality rarely gives us the privilege of positive progression." Often we train very hard for weeks, months, and years and may only see incremental improvement, if any. But then if you are not disheartened and continue to persist, suddenly you'll reach that tipping point, your payday. Malcolm Gladwell's ketchup bottle story simply summarizes the fundamental nonlinearity of everyday life: We tap the bottom end of a ketchup bottle, and nothing happens, we tap and tap..."None will come and then the lot'll." Just like in life, you try, and try, and try some more, and nothing happens. But if you don't become demoralized, and truly persist, then maybe you might be lucky enough to cash in!

But most people can't see it through the end (what ever the end maybe). I think the way our minds are wired makes a big difference. Some can handle nonlinearities better than others. There is a neural and success correlation.

A little more dope please? When failure presents itself we get less doped. I mean our dopamine system drops if our expectations are not met. Our pleasure brain system is somewhat like the stock market. It monitors how we do relative to the expectations. If we don't meet 'market' expectation then our brain produces less of the pleasure neurotransmitters and you end up feeling down. And it's even worse when you succeed early then the expectations become larger - (phenom challenge). The paradox of success is that it takes more and more success to fuel the brain and the inverse is true, failure is exacerbated. "Our minds are like inmates, captive to our biology, unless we manage a cunning escape."

I know of a friend who accomplished a lot in cycling in such a short period. She started racing after doing the Aids Ride and quickly got hooked. She upgraded to a Cat2 in less than 2 yrs. And for a while it seemed that success was linear. Then she got an expensive coach, made the commitment to train harder and longer, and made the necessary financial and personal sacrifices with the belief that if she puts in the work then she would be rewarded with a proportionate amount of results. Unfortunately, success maybe more opaque than we think it is. We know what we put in: hard work with our eyes firmly focused on our powermeters. But what comes out is not always clearly evident sensational success. After 2 years of spinning her wheels, frustrated, and demoralized, she quit racing altogether. It's a shame because I think she could have eventually achieved her goal. But like many of us, who've tasted defeat once too often, it becomes increasingly difficult to stay on course.

According to researchers who study hedonic happiness. "Making $1M one year, but nothing in the preceding nine, does not bring the same pleasures as having the total evenly distributed over the same period, that is, $100,000 every year for ten years in a row. The same applies to the inverse order - making a bundle the first year, then nothing for the remaining period. Somehow, your pleasure systems will be saturated rather quickly, and it will not carry forward the hedonic balance like a sum on a tax return. As a matter of fact, your happiness depends more on the number of instances of positive feelings than on their intensity when they hit. "

In other words, you need small wins consistently. But how do you achieve this when the path to the extraordinary is nonlinear? What do you suggest? I've thought about this a lot and read a lot on neuroscience ,psychology, and philosophy.

"When the little guy doesn't know he's the little guy, he can do great things." Unfortunately, the brain is not fooled too easily. Nonetheless, I believe that a regular guy can achieve great things if he can have the right mental model to deal with nonlinearities. I'm in the process of writing a book and I want to hear your stories of nonlinear progression and how you dealt with the ups and downs as you continue to chase your dreams. Email me at stevepelaez@gmail.com THANKS!

"Maybe this is the END?"

2008-03-13T21:21:00.000-07:00

That's what Mark, my mechanic friend, said to me immediately after I finished the scratch race in Denmark, where I suffered just to finish with a fever. Mark had me cracking up with this comment. And I needed it. It's a play on a previous quote, "Everything works out in the end. If it doesn't, you're just not at the end yet."

I asked Mark, "Why can't I just catch a break?" He said, "Maybe just being here is your break." He's right on both accounts. This is the end of my professional cyclist lifestyle, and this entire experience has been a break from reality. I've been living in a dream.

My 2 brains, the emotional and the rational, offer two different perspectives on the whole experience. Emotionally, it's sad and frustrating that it's all over and I didn't achieve my goal, however improbable. I desperately want another shot at goal. But, my rational mind can create a positive spin and see the silver lining.

I'm proud to have represented the the 87 million Filipinos against the best in the world. I was racing against the best professionals who are younger and faster than me and have been training full time and competing at the world class level for many years. My expectations were obviously unrealistic.

Actually, my coach Vlad keeps reminding me that I did great for a first timer and it's not possible to make the leap to the podium in the first year (unless you're a phenom like Phinney - a proof of genetics). So I asked him why the heck he didn't tell me this in the beginning. He just smiled back. BTW, my coach is an Olympic gold medalist and world champion and it took him 10 years of focused, relentless training to succeed at the World Cup level.

I guess it didn't matter what the odds were. I was still going to try. Logically, I knew I had no shot in hell. But emotionally, I wanted to stomp the competition and make it to Beijing. This delusion may have been partly due to watching Rocky I & II, one too many times. Anyhow, I know I'm just wired differently. I'm highly competitve and a dreamer. And so being a long shot are good odds. But the epistemic truth is that progress takes time. Progress is nonlinear. But my emotional brain wanted to believe in the improbable and linear causality. I.E that if I put in all this hard work and sacrifice, then I would be rewarded with an Olympic spot. In fact, getting to the Olympics is even more complicated that I had ever imagined. There are all these rules that limit the number of participants. Only the top 8 in the pts. race can go since the UCI gives priority to riders from the Top 8 Madison teams. It's a ridiculous, unfair system. It's not like the Jamaican bob sled days when every country could just go to the Olympics. It's now such a commercialized event that the entries are limited. I don't think there is an ASIAN country going for the pts. race - unbelievable.

My friend Robin told me that, "Life is lived forward and understood backwards." That's been the case with this entire experience. I was so caught up with the intensity and focus of the training, travel, and racing of the World Cup events that I may not have enjoyed the moments as they actually happened. But retrospectively, as I recall them, I have nothing but fun memories of the cool places I've raced and the great people I've met. And most of all, I'm proud that I was able to make a difference in the lives of impoverished children in the Philippines by raising money for the PCFA charity. If you haven't yet done so, please consider donating to: www.firstgiving.com/2008olympics . Thank you for reading and your support! You've made this a truly meaningful experience.

World Cup Denmark Point Race - DNS

2008-02-15T04:14:00.000-08:00

I did not start the points race today because I am sick as a dog. I think I probably caught the virus before the flight since my daughter was sick. And despite popping airborne pills like candy, my body finally gave in. I am filled with all these mixed emotions - sadness, anger, dissapointment, frustration. It is very difficult to remain positive, but I'm trying to be optimistic and hope that miraculously I will be better for tomorrow's scratch race.

"Everything works out in the end, if it doesn't, then you're just not at the end yet."
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Giving Credit

2008-01-30T23:58:00.000-08:00

The other day my little boy, Payton got a stool, lifted the toilet seat, and on his own, peed standing up for the first-time. Afterwards he said, "Daddy, you're the one who showed me how to pee standing up. Thanks." I'm glad I can be the one to teach him this. Anyhow, my point is that Payton has always been good at giving credit. So I thought I'd do the same.

I want to give credit to my Russian coaches, Dmitri and Vlad, for helping me tremendously during these past few months. Of note, Vlad is an Olympic Gold medalist and World Champion cyclist. They've kicked my lazy ass into shape. They've motorpaced me even in the freezing cold. They prescribe lung searing workouts. They help me stay focused and positive. And they make me laugh. Like when I thought I was overtraining, he told me to check my pulse rate while lying in bed when I first wake up in the morning. Then standup and then check my pulse rate again. If the diffrence is greater than 20 then I'm overtrained. And he warns me in his strongest Russian accent, "You must not have sex before standing up. Steve, I serious now. Young man like you feel very strong in the morning and like having sex. OK! I serious."

Another time, I hurt my back and could barely get on the bike. And my coach showed up with a Russian ointment and asked me, "Are you man or are you woman? If you man, you can take this ointment, if you woman, you cannot." Of course, I told them, "I man." 10 minutes later after rubbing in the ointment, my back started to feel like it was on fire. A minute more, my back felt like someone was pouring hot tar. Soon enough, I screamed, "I woman, I woman." My coaches started frantically yelling at each other in Russian. One ran to the car while the other searched for something in his desk. Soon they found what they were looking for, canola oil. It diffused the chemical explosion in my back. They told me that even though my back looked like a 3rd degree burn, it's really not. It's just blood rushing to the skin. Funny stuff like that keeps the training entertaining. But it is also back breaking work. It has to be since I'm competing against the best in the world while playing catchup with my fitness and experience. It's like cramming overnight for the boards.

It's been fun. And I wouldn't have made it this far without their help. Thank you Dmitri and Vlad.

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Peak Experience

2008-01-25T00:28:00.000-08:00

"Are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?"

The best moment that I will always remember from this past weekend was the tremendous amount of support and well wishes I received from friends, hellyerites, and the Filipino community. It reaffirms why I enjoy track - it's a close community. The race announcer called out my name 3x before the race because of the loud cheers from the peanut gallery. He even wondered outloud why I got the loudest cheers. He should have known that it was Steve Pelaez Day.

I really had a good feeling at the start of the race. Because the previous day, the announcer asked me to listen to their copy of the Philippine national anthem to make sure it sounded ok. They only play the national anthem if you win, so I figured that he might know something I didn't. It turns out he didn't. Steve Pelaez day ended a bit prematurely after a flurry of attacks.

I tried my best but I couldn't go any faster. I felt like my heart was going to explode, and my legs felt like lead. My coach says I didn't race smartly since I was the one closing gaps and attacking. What was I thinking? The problem is it's hard to think when everything is happening so fast. Should I go with that move, swing up now, close that gap, go faster, etc? It's called race smarts, which to me is nothing more than pattern recognition.

A race has a rhythm and those with experience can often see how the race will unfold. Since racing at this level is still new to me, I thought I'd just follow a favorite. I chose to stick to Jerome Neuville of France, '06 World Champ. He was clearly a favorite to advance to the finals in my heat. The problem with this tactic was that he could attack multiple times and keep going. Meanwhile, after a few attacks, I faded.

Know thy self is one of the most important principles in life. A Japanese proverb says that the mirror is the most important possession since it helps you see yourself. Shakespeare says, "To thy own self be true." In cycling, it's just as important to know your strengths and weaknesses. Race your strength(s). I should have known better. But it's easy to forget the basics. After the race, I was talking to cycling coach legend EddieB about training/racing. He said that cycling is pretty simple. We just make it more complicated when we are unsure of things. I agree. And right now getting to the finals is a complicated affair. I'm running out of time. There's only one more race left - Denmark. Will it all finally come together there?

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UCI World Cup LA - Ready or not?

2008-01-16T10:24:00.001-08:00

All systems are checked and clear for takeoff. We'll let's hope I fly on the bike this time around. It's been a month since my last competition in Thailand so we'll have to see. But, I've trained very hard, and kept clear of viruses, so far. This is a victory in and of itself, when you have preschooler kids.

So am I ready? This was the question Jenna asked me the other day. I thought about it and said, "Well, a lot of riders have been competiting at 6 day races in Canada, Germany, etc. But me, I've been training on my rollers in the attic. Yeah, I think I'm ready." We cracked up at the absurdity of the situation.

It's been cold and rainy in SF for the past few weeks, so I've had to train indoors in my attic, where there's the only TV in the house. There were days when I just couldn't motivate myself to ride for 3+ hrs. on the rollers. It really sucked. Everything goes numb, especially, well you know where if you ride. But my awesome super cool wife would not let me slack off. She would say, "You can always take the bus downtown." Implying I can always get a job instead. Considering this alternative, I quickly kitted up and hightailed up the stairs to the attic and looked forward to some hard roller training sessions. Like anything else in life, it's how you perceive things that matters. Nothing is what it is except what you think it to be.

And honestly, after a while I enjoyed the solitary workouts in the attic. I had to do a lot of speed endurance work (at 95% of max heartrate) and it was difficult to get going for the first few reps. When my HR is at 180 bpm, I feel like I'm dying with a sock in my mouth. That's when I would hear these voices in my head, that are in dolby surround sound quality yelling, "Stop, you're f@+** killing me, STOP now."

Sometimes, I can't help but think what a sick sport cycling is. We suffer a lot so that we can suffer even more. Interestingly though, after a while the pain becomes enjoyable. But only if there is purpose in the suffering. And it's the imagination of this purpose that helps me push through the pain. When everything hurts and I feel like I can't do it, I close my eyes and imagine sharing my Olympic dreams with my family, friends, and the charity I'm supporting with this quest. The clarity of this imagination helps me break through. I realize it's a very long shot, but imagination has no limits. In my mind there are endless possibilities. I've done the hard work and I believe I'm ready. Now, we'll see how it goes in LA.

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Photo: SEA Games Thailand - Opening Ceremonies

2007-12-27T21:33:00.000-08:00

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders

2007-12-26T22:35:00.000-08:00

Right after Payton was born, I went to a party in Dallas that was hosted by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Of course, I asked them to sign a photo for Payton. I figured Jenna wouldn't mind, right? Well, the photo had been buried in some dusty pile. But today, it showed up while we were cleaning Payton's room.

Payton is now almost 4 yrs. old and maybe going on 14. He took the photo from his mom and ran to the corner of the room to take a good, long look at the photo. Jenna asked him, "What do you think of the picture?" Payton just grinned from ear to ear. Jenna rephrased the question, "How does the photo make you feel?" Payton smiled and whispered, "Excited." I busted out laughing, but it probably wasn't the answer his mom wanted to hear. Later, when I was tucking Pay to sleep, I asked him, "What does excited mean?" He said, "Excited is how you feel when you want something more than anything else." Yup, that's my boy!

There are many different types of recovery techniques, and for me humor is one of the best ways to recover from a hard workout. Today was a very hard training day behind the motorcycle. It was cold and windy. I was exhausted after the 3hr session. But Pay's humor helped me bounce back. I feel recovered already. These moments are priceless.

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Like Groundhog Day - The Movie

2007-12-20T06:11:00.000-08:00

My flight left Manila last night and arrived 14 hrs later in San Francisco. When I arrived, it was earlier on the SAME day I left Manila. Cool, thanks to the international dateline I get to re-live the day all over again. This time around, I'll spend it happily with my family, eat Little Star pizza, and sleep in my own comfy bed. Simple pleasures.

If I could re-do this trip again, I wouldn't change a thing, except, ride a bigger gear. I rode too small a gear for all the races. In Sydney, I needed a 49x14 for the pts., 53x15 for the Scratch, 50x14 for the kilo. At the SEA games, the velodrome was a fast outdoor 333 track. Again, I should have ridden bigger gears too. 52x15 for the pts and 50x14 for the Kilo. These are big gears for me, but the speed at these races required that I should have gone up a gear. Oh well, it's a learning experience.

All in all, this trip has been unforgettable. It has been a once in a lifetime opportunity for a happily married middle aged cyclist with 2 beautiful kids, a SF mortgage to pay, a business to run. I enjoyed every moment, even those moments of doubt and fear. I kept telling myself to "Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid." It worked. The support I received from friends and family was incredible. It sustained me throughout the trip. Thank you very much.

Finally, great news. We've raised almost $5K in donations in less than 1 month. There will be many happy poor children in the Philippines this Christmas. You've made a difference! Please continue to pass the donation page to your community www.firstgiving.com/2008olympics

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"Modern Man in Search of a Soul"

2007-12-13T23:28:00.000-08:00

In Carl Jung's famous book he says that after 30 yrs of treating psych patients from many different backgrounds and problems, there has not been one whose problem in the last resort was not that of finding a religious outlook in life. No one is really healed who did not regain his religious outlook.

I was thinking of this within the context of how many of the athletes I've had the oppprtunity to know deal with the dissappointment of their results and expectations. Interestingly, those who have a religious outlook, seem to bounce back a lot more quickly from defeat. Many say that GOD has other plans for them. Their faith strengthens them. They seem happier to me and more optimistic. They worked very hard to achieve their goals and made tremendous sacrifices for many years. But unfortunately, things didn't workout. And they take it in stride and smile. "Beat it and bounce," as my buddy Robbie says. Spirituality is a liberating force.
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Taxi Cab Confessions

2007-12-12T20:43:00.001-08:00

My SEA games trip is over and it's now time for some R&R with Jenna in Bangkok. She has already checked into the Four Seasons, and is enjoying the luxury treatment and brief time to herself without the kids. She hasn't had time just to herself for the past 3.5 yrs, so this is a welcome relief. I owe her big time.

On my cab ride from the airport to the hotel, the cab driver was keen to point out all the shopping districts, and offered to drive me around to some bargain places. No, thank you. I hate shopping and I'm hoping that Jenna has already done this before I arrive. But what I want is a spa treatment. And when I mentioned this to the cab driver, his head spun around like in the Exorcist. Just like in the movie, he gave me that fiendish smile and said, "Weeally (it's really, but Thais cannot pronounce the r)..yah yah, i know vewy good place, you like go now..weelax and be wery happy." I'm sure you do. I think he was disappointed I declined the offer. Interestingly, it was at the Four Seasons in Bangkok a few year back, pre-kids, where we picked up a taxi to go to an upscale spa but somehow ended up in the shady red light district. These things happen here since there's a lot of kickback for bringing customers for shopping and/or the happy ending massages.

Remember the BeeGees song, "One night in Bangkok, makes the world your oyster, and if your lucky she's a he." It's crazy how many beautiful women are not really women. If they are too perfect then "she's a he." One night in Bangkok is all I need to spend in Thailand then I'm off to Manila.

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$20K + House and Lot

2007-12-12T03:51:00.001-08:00

...Is the Indonesian incentive to all their athletes for winning gold in the SEA Games. Every country has a similar financial incentive but not as generous as Indonesia's. There's a lot at stake for many athletes. It could mean that Santa is coming to town or not. So everyone fights for the win. It's a slug fest. And the sacrifices for many are incredible. I'll write about this later.

I'm really impressed with the quality of competition here. It's world class. The athletes are full time athletes. They are supported by government funding and receive a lot of support. At the Philippine camp for instance, we have some of the best medical staff: orthopedic doctors, chiropractor, physiotherapist, PT, and massage therapists. I kept them busy, sometimes I even got 2 massages a day after my workouts. It's been great. There are also many administrative people who manage the logistics of travel and make life easy for all of us. All that they ask is that we win gold.

We won gold in the points race. My teammate who is arguably the best Philippine rider, Victor Espiritu won it. He covered the breakaway attacks while I rested for the sprints. Consequently, within the first 8 laps he was able to lap the field with the right combination of countries represented in the breakaway. Once he established his lead, we just defended his position and helped him as much as we could. I was able to win some sprints and take away points from the competition and chase down potential breaks. It was a great team race and I'm lucky to have such a strong teammate. The racing was brutal, unlike any points race I've ever done. The overall speed was lower but the attacks were nonstop. It was an exhausting 40K interval. I was cross eyed by the finish, and completely spent.

It was an honor to join Victor on his victory lap draped in the Philippine flag. And watching the flag raised while singing the national anthem was memorable. It's been many, many years since I sang the national anthem as a kid growing up in the PI, but the words came back easily and I sang along proudly.

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Opening Ceremonies

2007-12-06T23:09:00.001-08:00

Breathe...Enjoy the ride. I get this advice a lot. At the World Cup in Sydney, I definitely was so focused on the outcome that I may not have appreciated the experience as much as I should have. But now, with some space between the racing, I'm able to reflect on a lot of great memories.

It was super cool to have witnessed the speed of Theo Bos while he was launching his flying 200. I was riding behind him before his twin turbos kicked into overdrive. It's the ultimate image of speed. I enjoyed the Kilo the best, since I was able to sit up on the starting gate and take in the moment. The stands were packed with cheering Aussie's, the infield was a vibrant color of all the national federations. And there were so many top riders present, who I only saw prior to Sydney on DVDs. And most of all, the opportunity to meet many good interesting people with different backgrounds was priceless.

Last night, I was fortunate enough to experience the SEA Games opening ceremony. It was simply magical. It was unlike any sporting experience I've had. My heart skipped a few beats as we entered the stadium. I did not expect the event to be so grand. As I walked into the stadium, from the silent staging tunnel, we were greeted by an overwhelming applause accompanied by the sounds of a beating drum. Images of Gladiator came to mind. For a moment, lost in my imagination, it felt as though all the thousands of fans, cameras, media, TV coverage, the Prince, were focused on me. And like Maximus, I held my arms high and thought, "Are you not entertained?"

We all marched in dressed in our respective team outfits waving our flags. I wanted to break formation and run up to the stands and give everyone a high five. I was simply and completely overjoyed to be part of this. It would have been perfect had my family and friends been here to enjoy the festivities with me.

The evening was like a Superbowl spectacle of fire works, music, and dancing, but with a very special spicy Thai flavor. The night was just as Maggy would say, "OOOsome." Breathe and enjoy the ride - Absolutely!

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Charity Update

2007-12-05T08:42:00.001-08:00

I'm very grateful for all the support and generosity from friends, family, and colleagues. It's amazing how quickly we've raised 10% of the targeted donation amount of $25K. I get an email alert after each donation, and there were moments when my blackberry would not stop vibrating from all the alerts. Thank you, I truly appreciate everyone's help.

After the SEA Games in Thailand, I will be traveling to Manila to again visit the charity. I will also work on securing a corporate sponsor to match the donations raised. Winning a gold medal in Thailand will help attract sponsorships. Therefore, I'm hopeful my best will earn us the gold.

Also, I want to assure everyone that 100% of your donation will be used to help the poor, hungry, and homeless children of the Philippines. I will directly be involved to make
sure that we all can be a force of good and help make a difference.

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Thailand

2007-12-05T02:14:00.001-08:00

...Rolled out the red carpets for the SEA Games. After a long flight from Sydney I was greeted by the Thai Federation at baggage claim. An army of helpers, picked up all my bags and carted it down to a reception lounge, where food and drinks were provided. Then we were driven by chartered bus to the Athletes Village in Korat. The movie, Beowulf was played on the bus. Thought this movie was still out in the theaters.

There's a security point check-in before you can enter the athlete's village. It's not as strip down tight like airport security, but the guards are armed and there are German Shepard bomb sniffing dogs. It's alarming, but generally, it feels safe here among the 5k+ Asian athletes/coaches. There are more sporting events here compared to the Olympics. I'm meeting a lot of great athletes in boxing, rugby, tennis, swimming, and the world champion billiards team. I'm hoping to pick up some tips to improve my sorry game.

The housing is dorm style rooms but the fridges are stocked full of water, cokes, and my favorite recovery drink- Nestle chocolate milk. Score.

The dining hall is all you can eat Thai food. There's a hot Thai food section and a Not hot section. I didn't read the signs on the first day and ate some scorching food. My mouth is still on fire from the Thai chilies I ate.

The venues are state of the art facilities. The velodrome is way cool. Each team has their own locker rooms and shower rooms. And Thailand has provided us with a team bus similar to the ones the pro riders use in the Tour. There is a shower room/ bathroom/ and a pimped out disco ball to boot. I love Thailand! Now I gotz to go for my Thai massage.....

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Managing Expectations

2007-12-02T14:08:00.001-08:00

A friend told me that more athletes see a sports psychologist about managing unrealistic expectations than any other problem. I think I may need to see one after this Sydney World Cup.

I should have been more realistic with my expectations. Oh, there goes gravity, back to reality. But, I'm glad to have had this learning experience, and now that it's over, I have a renewed commitment to work even harder at improving my game for the next round in LA. It's a whole new level at the World Cups but it's manageable. I'll have 3 more shots at goal but I need to focus more than on just endurance events. At this level, I need to specialize in the points and scratch races only.

After the racing was all over, my new adopted teammates, Team Global, and I just kicked it at the hotel bar and kept the pints flowing. It's been fun hanging with Maggy, Supermac, Princes Louis, and Cakein. You can race alone but it's very hard. I'm really glad I met a great group of people. And together we helped each other through the racing and logistics, and had we had a blast.

It was crazy getting to the airport this Monday morning. Everyone's bikes were picked up at the velodrome last night, and dropped off at the airport. Imagine trucks loaded with boxes of Look, and BT bikes being dropped at the curbside without the riders. There were probably a million dollars worth of equipment just sitting there. Amazingly, the teams look out for each other and we all got our equipment.

I just got rooted (bad Aussie word) by Thai Airlines. Since I'm not flying to the great US of A, I was charged $20 per kilo over 30 kilos. I paid $1200. INSANE! Better fly my bags first class for that. Anyhow, now, I'm off to Thailand for the SEA Games. Wish me luck.

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I needed a life vest today

2007-11-30T05:03:00.001-08:00

Today is definitely not a memorable day. It started off badly when my chain snapped while riding to the track. So, I had to walk back a couple of kilometers to the hotel. Then when I eventually got to the track, freakin' team USA, who i was sharing space with, totally displaced me by moving the Philippine sign to the Porsche Aussie squad, and they in turn buried it somewhere never to be found. So I had no where to park my gear. It's the first time I felt alone here.

So I eventually just tagged along with Magnus. Then, I found out that I left my assos chamois creme at the hotel. Me and the boys just weren't comfortable from then on. And it gets more comical actually.

I got to the start line, and the chief commisaire said I had the wrong numbers on. They issued new numbers in the morning. He asked me if my team manager had them. Nope. I am the team manager, rider, mechanic, a bad one at that, massuer, and oh yeah, I'm riding too. Anyhow, this is the World Cup, the majors of track cycling, and he wasn't going to just let me in with the wrong numbers. So I ran to get the other set of numbers with my cleats on. The race was delayed 5 minutes, which pissed off the other teams.

I ran back, and 3 teams had to help me unpin, re-pin, and, oh, I needed a holder too since I was in the blue line. Japan stepped in to help me and we we're off for my first world cup race. Definitely, not an ideal start. And it went from bad to worse.

I was just spinning in squares-- must have been from all the walking, running. I don't know why but I just had no leg speed. When the attacking started, it was game over for me. Today, I felt like a Saturn car racing against Formula 1 cars. It was my worst track day ever. But, I finished and I tried with what I had today. I wasn't tired, just couldn't turn the pedals. Tomorrow is a new day and I'll try again in the Scratch and Kilo. But, I'm doing the Keirin. No sense in doing it without any leg speed. It would have been dangerous.

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Points Race Heats

2007-11-29T15:58:00.001-08:00

Gotta love my heat, the past 4 world champions are in mine - llaneras, Schep, Rybin, Newton, and toss in Magnus, to the mix for more hurt. Guess there are no easy heats at this level. Wish me luck.
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The Day before race day

2007-11-29T04:26:00.001-08:00

...is usually the most anxious & stressful day. And generally, the more I think about the race the worse i do. It's best just to kick it and have a lot of laughs. And that's what i did with my new composite team, Team Planet, of Lone Wolf Riders - Magnus Backstedt, 05 Paris Roubaix winner from Sweden, Kate, Commonwealth medalist from Scotland, and Louis, pro rider from Ireland. Our team manager is Martin Mcrossin, commentator for cycling TV and last yrs. Track worlds. He actually represented all of us at the managers meeting. Picked up our numbers and confirmed our entries. It's really cool to have some camaraderie with great riders I've just met.

Initially, I was worried it was going to feel a bit lonely here on my own, but not at all. It's a great community, and that's what I enjoy most about track. You really get to know many good people, cuz there's a lot of downtime b/w workouts, racing. Anyhow, I'm in a good mood since we spent the later part of dinner just telling some jokes, which I'll keep of the blog and will share in person. But one funny story Magnus said was about the Uruguay Madison team.

He said it's going to be a slaughter house for the madison heats. He couldn't believe it when he witnessed one of the Uruguay riders hanging on for dear life on the top railing between turn 1 and 2 in the steepest portion of the banking 42degrees, steep. The coach had to bail the rider from the top stands. Guess the rider was going too slow and freaked out. Can u just imagine it. I know how it must have felt for the Uruguay rider.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going to slide down the bank and take out everyone below me as though I was the bowling bowl and they were the pins. And it'll be an embarrassing strike and I'll get my butt kicked off the track. Yup, I would grab the rails too rather than slide down. Wish i had a picture of the blooper moment.

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Sydney - Training Session with the Russians and the French

2007-11-27T23:26:00.001-08:00

There are over 500 athletes competing at this Sydney World cup. It is the most attended world cup ever. Everyone who rides a track bike really fast is here to qualify for Beijing. Joshiah Ng said that in 2004 it was easier to get UCI points for the Olympics. But now the field is alot bigger & the competition is tougher. That's great news for the sport. Not for me personally, but I get up for competition.

Speaking of competition, I was chillin in the hotel lobby with Magnus Backstedt. He too is riding solo for Sweden. There 6 other solo riders here. Ireland, Scotland, Finland, Sweden, China Taipei, and the Philippines, and we all share the same locker. Good to know i'm not the only lone wolf. Nonetheless, I'm proud to represent the Philippines. And a lot of the other federations I've talked too find it pretty cool that I'm here trying. Go Philippines they yell out loud. Guess they never seen a Filipino ride this fast or be as tall =).

I followed Mikel Bourgain on his flying 200. All I can say is that he is soo smooth. He doesn't look like he's trying but he's flyin. Not that big of a guy. Actually, most of the really fast sprinters aren't as big as the video makes them out to be. I have a photo of the Bos and I, and honestly, i looked bigger up top. And yes, my legs r bigger too. But i am waaaay slower. Size doesn't matter.

I almost got killed by the russian sprinter. I was getting started on my flying kilo and he was diving in for his 200 sprint and we barely missed. He said something in russian. And I said probably the same thing in English, fx@#. Then i also dropped in behind Ignatiev during the russian team pursuit, double disc and all. They were flyin, but i went around them on my last lap of my kilo effort. I think i may post a new kilo pr if i'm not too tired after the pts, keirin, scratch, then kilo. My starts are rockin. I did my first lap in 19.3 about 2 secs faster than my LA start at Natz. Hopefully, i'll do a 105+. The speed is coming back, finally, after all the weight session.

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My Olympic Dreams for the Children

2007-11-27T12:34:00.001-08:00

As a member of the Philippine National Cycling team, I will be competing around the world in Sydney, Korat, Thailand, Los Angeles, Denmark, and Manchester to qualify for the '08 Beijing Olympics in track cycling. I am dedicating my Olympic pursuit to a charity serving poor children in the Philippines, and I need your help.

I am currently in Sydney, where I am getting ready for the 1st rnd of the World cup. I''ll be on the road, racing and promoting the charity for a month. It's already difficult and lonely being away from my family especially during the Holidays. Before I left home, my son, Payton, reminded me of the true purpose of my trip when he said, "Dad, you're leaving us to help the poor children, right?" I replied, "I hope so."

What I'm trying to achieve is more than just about biking. Hopefully, at the end of it all, whether I make it to the Olympics or not, we will have made a difference in the lives of poor children in the Philippines. Then, all the hard work and sacrifices will truly be meaningful.

Please support me along the way by donating to the charity. To donate and learn more about what I'm doing, simply go to:

www.firstgiving.com/2008olympics

Thank You!

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If I had one day in Sydney...

2007-11-27T01:49:00.000-08:00

Where should i go? Well, that was the ? I asked my driver. Figured I might have Sunday to tour after the racing.

She said that I should definitely check out the Opera and alot of places are within walking distance from there. OR "Do u want to see Bush?" Ahhhh, i don't know what u mean. Even in Thailand they aren't that blalant about it. They ask if u want a massage first. So i figured it meant something else. She meant outback. But i told her what i iniatially thought she meant and we started cracking up. She then was nice enough to give me a brief aussie slang crash course.

I've also had a busy day with getting setup with my bikes and the workout for today. The coolest thing is that I worked out with the Dutch and Chinese teams today. And i did a couple of laps behind the Bos. Gotta eat now and catch the team bus back to the hotel and snooze! Long 2 days.
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Sink or Swim

2007-11-25T22:23:00.000-08:00

I've always jumped into the deep end with alot of the things I've done in life. This Olympic pursuit is just another challenge I hope to rise up to.

One thing is for sure, i couldn't have done this on my own. There are so many people i'm forever grateful for their suppoprt and generosity. Robbie, Brian, Matias, Bill, Tim, Altamarano have all hooked me up with the equipment I need so i don't look so ghetto against the competition. Then there's Taylor, my chiropractor; Jay, head of IO-USA, altitide simulation, Mark, massage therapist and Vlad, my Olympic gold medalist Belarusan coach, who make sure I'm firing on all cyclinders. They make sure I'm physically in top shape.

There's my national coach, Jomel, who's taken care of my racing logistics and has warmly welcomed me into the National team. Then there's my great business partner, Ray, who's a great moral and financial support to this exciting adventure. As he says "Its just another validation that we have still not seen the best that life can offer." To do this at my not so young age, married, 2 children, a business to run, a mortgage to pay, well, it's all a bonus and proves that life does get better with age.

And most of all, i could not do this without my family's support. My aunts, cousins, my mom, and brothers have all given me so incredible support. I owe so much to them. And most of all, I owe everything to Jenna and the kids. They give me the courage and strenght to pursue this dream.

Sink or swim? Well with all the help i've been fortunate enough to receive, i feel like i'm already floating. Thank you everyone!

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Philippine Trip - Training with the National Cycling Team

2007-11-12T22:47:00.000-08:00

Here's a quick recap of my 15 day trip

Day 1: 20 hr flight to the PI, where I sat uncomfortably in coach watching some bad movies and ate some not so good food. But I was excited about the trip and the time flew by, I actually was lucky enough to sleep most of the way. When I finally got to Manila, I was greeted by my aunt, grandpa, and the suffocating heat and pollution. But my aunt reminds me that this weather is actually cool for this time of the year. But coming from San Francisco, well this mild weather is like an inferno. Later that night, I went out to a cool bar to see TJ, the son of my host family, play with his band. I drank a few rounds of vodka tonic with the hope that it will knock me out for the night.

Day2: The vodka loading didn't work. I woke up at 3am with a hangover instead. And my jetlag was pretty bad since there's a 15 hr time difference b/w SF and Manila. I tried very hard to force myself back to sleep - blinders, ear piece, nothing worked. It was impossible. Later in the day, I met up with the team and coaches. Got the grand tour of the velodrome and housing facilities of the team. The velodrome was actually packed with people praying. It turns out that the team shares the velodrome with worshipers every Wed and the weekends. This means that we can only train during certain days/hours. Wouldn't want to upset God by interrupting a prayer vigil =)

Day 3 - 6: Hard Training behind a moto. We were doing 2 a day training sessions in the heat and smog. I was exhausted everyday. And the jetlag was killing me. My teammates are really strong, and I'm honored to be able to join this team of dedicated and talented riders. Most of my teammates, have ridden for the National team for a few years and have represented the Philippines in many prestigious international events like the Asian Games, Tour of Taiwan, Tour of Langkawi, SEA Games, etc. This year will be my first and I hope to make the most of it by qualifying myself and the team for the '08 Beijing Olympics and winning gold at the SEA Games.

Day 7: Day off. I spend the time visiting the charity that I'm helping out, The Philippine Childrens Fund of America PCFA. They have built a ranch 2 hrs from Manila in the outskirts of Clark, the former US Airforce Base. The ranch is a a unique biopreserve and a sanctuary for abandoned animals. It's a beautiful ranch located in the ancestral grounds of the Aeta community, who are the aboriginal people of the Philippines. The goal of the ranch is to create a sustainable community to help fund educational and feeding programs for the Aeta children and also the orphaned children in Clark. It's a great charity that I'm happy to be helping out.
To donate visit: www.firstgiving.com/2008olympics

Day 8: Sick. The fatigue, hard training, and the pollution have finally caught up to me. I spend the day resting/sleeping and just eating fresh philippine fruits, like Atis, Mango, Lansones. Yum.

Day 9: Press Conference time. I was invited along with the coach and the team captains on a press conference that was attended by the Philippine sports writers for the major papers. The press conference was also on live radio and taped for TV. It was the cool. I fielded alot of questions about my background, results and chances for the winning a medal at the SEA GAMES. I answered the questions in Tagalog, which surprised alot of the journalist. But they were pleasantly surprised and i think b/c of it, they were more interested in what I had to say. I was working the press with the hope that they create good exposure that will help me land a corporate sponsor for the charity. Anyhow, it's good to be bilingual. Now I have to teach my kids to speak tagalog.

Day 10 - 11: 2 days of Medical checkups. The full workup, piss into a cup, draw blood, pushup and situp tests, xray, VO2 max testing, flexibility and strength test. I even took a psych test. Also, I had a dental checkup, cleaning. The dentist says that they want to make sure the athletes have a nice white smile for when we win gold at the SEA Games. It's all a big deal in the Philippines. I'm starting to feel the pressure, well, I'm looking forward to winning gold. One of the cool benefits of being on the National Team is that I get full dental/medical coverage in the Philippines and anywhere I compete overseas. Just so the movie Sicko about Healthcare problem in the US, and it made me appreciate this benefit all the more.

Day 12-13: We weren't able to ride for the past 2 days because it was raining and the velodrome is unrideable. They used shiny paint for the pavement and it feels like riding on ice when there's a little bit of water on the track. So I've been riding the rollers a few hours a day instead. When the rain finally cleared up, the coaches double checked the track, wiped it down by getting down on their hands and knees. Then we did some speed drills and a timed attack. I did a 500m tt and flying 200. My times were slow for me since I've been sick, but I was still able to post the fastest times.

Day 14: Got the greenlight from the coaches to take the the team out to a comedy club where we stayed out til 3 Am. This is probably the teams last relaxing day before the hard training push for the SEA Games in December. So everyone was really up for partying that night. It was a lot of fun hanging with the guys, and cracking up while I embarrassed myself on stage by singing karaoke to Sexy back and doing a dance off. Beer, well lots of it, gives you stupid courage.

Day 15: Fly Back to San Francisco. But not before, I was detained in the airport for having an overweight oversized bike case. They were going to charge me $750. That got me all stressed out and I had to unpack my bike and unload some extra gear. I finally got the weight down so I only had to shell out $150. Still, it sucked and got me all stressed out for my 20 hr flight back to SF. Not good. In the end, I got sick again and finally, had to take antibiotics to get over the bacterial infection. It was a fun trip, but I'm happy to be back home with my family. I really missed Jenna, Payton, and Aria. It was hard being away. I can't believe I'll be away for a month in Nov.-Dec while I compete in the Track World Cup Events in Sydney & Beijing, and the SEA Games in Thailand, and back to Manila to meet with the president. It's a hectic but exciting time.

The Child is Father to the Man

2007-11-12T22:43:00.000-08:00

...I understand that it means that Payton's childhood helps shape the man that he will become. But it's also literal for me since Payton told me today that I should not eat treats in front of him since he's not allowed to eat treats everyday, only once a week. And I make it hard for him not to stick to this rule, when I eat junk food. "OK, dad?" "Yes, Payton."

"You're a good dad too"

2007-11-08T22:37:00.000-08:00

I woke up today feeling like crap. It's now the 3rd day of my antibiotic medication and I think my body just feels worn down from battling the sickness and the general fatigue from the training and jet lag. I seriously just wanted to stay in bed all day. Read a good book and have breakfast brought to me in bed. Reason #10 to move back to the Philippines, where this would be possible. Still trying to sell Jenna on this living in the Philippines concept. Anyhow, I slowly got my self up and helped get the kids ready for their busy day - pre-school for Payton and gymnastics for Aria.

Then I got on the trainer since it was relatively cold outside to ride while I'm still suffering from bronchitis. Being sick really sucks. I feel so out of shape. How the heck am I suppose to be competing at the World Cup in 3 weeks? My coach says we have time, but we need to speed things up. I just gotta be careful not to get too eager with getting my training back on track. Also, today I started the IO altitude simulation program http://www.io-nz.com/ at Chiro Medical. The IO program is suppose to help increase my natural levels of EPO by exposing me to hypoxic air for a total of 15 hrs. Today, I simulated oxygen levels at 13,000+ feet for 1.5 hr. Tomorrow, I'm getting brought up to 14-15K feet. But I'm tired, even though I just sat in a nice comfy leather chair while I sucked in hypoxic air.

The best part of the day was when I was hugging Payton good night. I gave him a nice big hug and told him that he was such a good boy. His response "You're a good dad too, daddy" He made my day.